


Somewhere over the Rainbow (Or Pineapple, I've Heard It Both Ways)

by DwaejiTokki



Category: Psych
Genre: Coma, Crack-ish, Gen, Humor, Pineapples, Wizard of Oz References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-10 14:24:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10439625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DwaejiTokki/pseuds/DwaejiTokki
Summary: After a knock to the head, Detective Juliet O'Hara awakes in the strange world of Psychville. She must journey to see the Consultant in order to get back to Santa Barbara. Along the way she meets the idiotic Shawn, the heartless Lassiter, and the fearful Gus, who join her on her adventure. Will Juliet ever make it back home?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a while ago. Cross posting from FF.net

"Freeze! SBPD!" 

Juliet followed at her senior partner's heels as they stormed the house, guns drawn. Past Lassiter's shoulder, she could make out several figures in the gloom getting onto their knees with their hands over their heads. Satisfaction settled in her guts as she pulled her handcuffs from her belt.  

It had been hard work tracking down the leaders of the drug ring. The trail had eventually led them to a house in the suburbs. It was an almost perfect guise, considering the owner of the house, a middle-aged elementary school teacher, was well-respected and liked in the community. None of the neighbors had been aware of the gang activity right under their noses. 

And the best part, according to Lassiter, was that Shawn Spencer had had nothing to do with the case. Juliet hadn't had the heart to inform him that Shawn had tipped her off to look at the phone records. It was good for Lassiter's morale to have a victory once in a while. 

Another officer cleared the rest of the house as Juliet and Lassiter cuffed their guys. There were three of them, including Mr. Sneider, all easily apprehended. They were the ones who were too good to get their hands dirty, afraid to go to prison. The worst kind of criminals. 

Juliet would have been prepared at any other time.  

As it was, she had called Chief Vick to inform her that the suspects were being brought in, and that the bust had gone according to plan. Lassiter was turned away, speaking into the talkie he had pinned to his shoulder moments before the storm-in.  

One of the men on the floor had jumped to his feet, throwing himself backwards at the same moment. Unprepared as she was, Juliet was knocked back, stumbling into another perpetrator and tripping over him. Lassiter turned at the commotion, eyes going wide, and fumbled for his weapon.  

"O'Hara!" 

Juliet wasn't sure what the crack she heard was: her phone hitting the floor, Lassiter's gun discharging, or even her head striking the edge of the coffee table behind her. Nevertheless, it was the last thing she heard before she slipped into unconsciousness. 

 

In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity 

I'm not inclined to resign to maturity 

If it's all right, then you're all wrong 

Why bounce around to the same damn song? 

You'd rather run when you can't crawl 

 

I know you know that I'm not telling the truth 

I know you know they just don't have any proof 

Embrace the deception, learn how to bend 

Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end 

 

I know you know 

I know you know 

 

With a small moan, Juliet forced her eyes open. Surprisingly, her head didn't hurt, and neither did anything else. She immediately knew something was wrong, then. 

She gasped and bolted upright, looking around.  

Juliet was no longer in the house, nor was she in a hospital. Rather, she was lying outside on the ground, but she was nowhere she recognized.  

"I don't think I'm in Santa Barbara anymore," she murmured under her breath.  

Shakily, the detective pushed herself to her feet, brushing off her smart gray pantsuit. She looked around warily, but the place seemed deserted. All around her were thick green hedges, but that made no sense considering the ground appeared to be sand. The blue sky was clear of clouds, and the sun beat down. Surprisingly, though, Juliet felt a bit cold. 

"Hello?" she called, squinting. 

She was sure that she saw a figure approaching the distance. She was right, as the man raised his hand as he neared. 

Juliet raised her own hand in response and jogged toward him. 

"Lloyd?" she asked incredulously.  

He nodded, tugging at his garish yellow tie. "Hello, Juliet. How are you?" 

"Wh- But," she stuttered, putting her hands on her blonde head. "I don't understand. What are you doing here?" 

"Well," Lloyd began in his boring voice, "I was in Miami with your mother, but then I got a call that a good friend of mine needed a package delivered. So I came out here, but he wasn't around, so I've been wandering around looking for him." 

"Where...Where is here?" Juliet looked around surreptitiously. 

Lloyd seemed to take in his surroundings as well. "It's the land of Psychville, of course. Are you feeling okay? You know, I could call your mother for you, if you want her to be -" 

"No," Juliet shook her head, holding up her hands. "Did you just call this place Psychville?" 

"Yes." 

"There's no such place!" She gestured wildly to the desert hedges. "This is crazy! How did I get here? Where is everything, everybody? I have to go to work, Lloyd!" 

Lloyd blinked at her owlishly. "I think I should call your mother." 

"No! I don't - need my mother, thank you." Juliet took a deep breath and a moment to compose herself. She spun in a circle, squinting into the distance. "I'm dreaming," she said faintly. "Hit my head. Must have. Dreaming. Ha!" 

"Juliet, do you need to lie down?" 

She whipped around to face him. "I probably am, you know. I must be in the hospital. This is just a crazy dream caused by the drugs they're probably pumping into me." 

Lloyd stared at her. 

"So I'll just wait right here until I wake up." With that, Juliet sat down with her legs tucked snugly underneath her. She folded her hands in her lap and prepared to wake up. She slowly opened her eyes again, only to find sand, hedges, and a dubious and uncomfortable Lloyd. Juliet groaned. 

"How am I supposed to wake up?" 

"I don't know," Lloyd shrugged. "But if you need to get back to Santa Barbara, I've got a plane. Well, I did have a plane, but a friend of mine borrowed it. He's at the beach house, if you want to go find him. I'm sure he'll take you home." 

Juliet sighed and got to her feet again. "Fine," she muttered. "It's probably one of those stupid journey dreams and I won't wake up until I get to my destination...Who's your friend?" 

"The Consultant." 

Juliet raised an eyebrow. "The Consultant," she repeated. 

"Yes." 

"He doesn't have a name?" 

"He does," Lloyd assured her. "But for the sake of anonymity, we call him The Consultant. It's all very legal, don't worry." 

Juliet rolled her eyes. "How much trouble are you in, Lloyd?" 

"Me? None." 

"You know what?" Juliet smiled tightly. "Never mind. This is all a dream, anyway. I just need to find this guy with the plane and wake up. Where do I find him?" 

"The beach." Lloyd pointed to the right. In that direction was what seemed to be a never-ending expanse of desert. "Or maybe it's that way," he said uncertainly, pointing in the opposite direction. That way was a thick green forest that Juliet was sure had not been there moments before. 

"Great," she scoffed. "Now I don't know which way to go." 

"No need to worry, Juliet," Lloyd assured her. "Just follow Little Boy Cat." 

"Who?" 

Juliet yelped and nearly leapt out of her skin when she felt something brush against her leg. She stumbled away from it and saw an orange and brown tabby cat. It sat down, looking up at her with intelligent green eyes, and meowed at her. 

"Ah, there you are, Little Boy Cat," Lloyd greeted. "Juliet here needs to get to the beach house. Think you can handle it?" 

Little Boy Cat meowed and sauntered forward, furry tail straight up in the air proudly. Juliet gave Lloyd a long-suffering look, then trudged after the cat.  

"Goodbye, Juliet. Good luck!" Lloyd called, voice fading along with himself. 

Juliet merely shook her head at the ludicrousness of it all. 

In a few steps they were in the forest, which should have taken a couple of hours to reach at the least. But, considering it was a dream world, Juliet decided to let everything happen as it came. There was no point in resisting or analyzing. Her detective skills were useless here. 

"Wait up!" Juliet uttered when the cat sped off. 

She chased after him, alarm bells ringing in her head. If she lost her guide, then she would never make it out. She wasn't entirely sure that she would never wake up, but she didn't particularly want to take the chance. 

Was she in a coma? 

Juliet supposed she was, as she dodged several trees, trying to spot the fluffy animal. Surely all this that was happening couldn't fit into a span of a few minutes. She sincerely hoped that she didn't have brain damage. 

That would really suck. 

Juliet slowed to a stop, panting for breath even though she didn't feel she needed to. She actually felt quite normal. There was no time to argue logistics - She'd lost the cat. 

"Damn it!"  

She looked around, staring intently at the ground in the hopes of seeing some disturbance in the leaves that would indicate the direction the cat had taken. No such luck. 

"Little Boy Cat! Here, Little Boy Cat!" Juliet cupped her hands around her mouth as she called, feeling rather foolish. "I can't believe this," she muttered, throwing her hands up in defeat and exasperation. 

"Can't believe what?" 

Juliet whipped around, startled. "Shawn?!" 

He grinned goofily, raising an unnecessary hand in greeting from his spot a few paces away. "Hey, Jules. What can't you believe?" 

"Shawn, I really don't have time for this." 

"I think you have plenty of time," Shawn disagreed. Juliet opened her mouth to retort, but Shawn held his hands in surrender and continued, "I mean, you are in a coma. Sure, we're all waiting for you to wake up, but now's the perfect time to catch up on sleep." 

Juliet rolled her eyes. "No '80s movie reference yet?" 

Shawn pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Guess not," he said after a moment. "This is your mind, after all. And this is more like a '39, isn't it? It's a _Wizard of Oz_ feel." 

She narrowed her eyes.  

"Follow the yellow brick road!" Shawn said in a squeaky voice followed by a chortle. 

"Okay," Juliet groaned. "Shawn, listen. I need to get to the beach house where the Consultant is. Do you know the way?" 

"I may." 

"Shawn." 

"I may not." 

" _Shawn."_  

"Let me think about it." He put a finger to his temple, apparently concentrating or asking the spirits for help or whatever it was he did. 

"Meow." 

"Little Boy Cat!" Juliet knelt beside the cat and joyfully scratched it behind the ears. "I thought I'd lost you!" 

Arching his back so as to get the most out of Juliet's petting, the cat sauntered forward with a low meow, apparently leading the way again. Juliet followed, careful to keep up this time. She sighed at the sound of footsteps behind her.  

"Don't follow me, Shawn," she grumbled. 

"I'm not," Shawn answered. "I'm meeting my dad for lunch. He just so happens to live this way." 

Juliet shook her head. It wasn't that she didn't believe him; in fact, she did. She just didn't want to be distracted and get lost again, was all. 

All too suddenly she stumbled out of the trees onto a spacious green lawn. Several flower beds lined the small walkway that led up to a small white house. A thin stream of gray smoke rose from the cobbled chimney on the slanted roof. Juliet took it all in at a glance, too focused on not losing Little Boy Cat. At least now Shawn was where he needed to be. 

"Uh oh," Shawn sang. She heard his footsteps stop behind her. 

Little Boy Cat stopped as well, hackles rising. A dangerous yowl emitted from the cat's chest, prompting Juliet to finally look up. 

What she thought was Henry Spencer's home in her coma dream was apparently Lassiter's. He stood on his porch steps, glaring angrily at them. Gun in hand. 

"Get off my lawn!" he growled, cocking he weapon and raising it. 

Juliet's jaw dropped. Before she could stutter out a response to her partner's demand, he had pointed it and pulled the trigger in quick succession. Little Boy Cat took off, disappearing in an orange blur in the tree line, and Shawn had retreated in the opposite direction, screeching like a banshee. 

She scowled and planted her hands on her hips as Lassiter's eyes turned to her. It must have been the murderous expression on her face that had done it because he instantly lowered the gun and swallowed, laryngeal prominence bobbing as he did so.  

"Carlton!" 

The detective flinched at the harsh intonation of his first name, and he had the mind to look a bit shame-faced. "I didn't want anyone to step on my flowers!" he said defensively. "The cat would have dug them up, and Spencer would have -" 

"I don’t care who would have done what!" Juliet snapped. "That cat was my guide, and Shawn was just going to his dad's house for lunch. Now you come out here and help Shawn down from that tree, and then you're going to help me find Lil' Boy Cat." 

"But -" 

" _Now."_  

Carlton's shoulders drooped as he scowled petulantly. As he stormed over to the tree up which Shawn had somehow managed to clamber, he stuffed his Glock into its harness. Juliet could hear a low grumble from his as he passed, something about women and cats and Spencers in general, and where they could go for all he cared. 

"Hanging munchkin!" Shawn blurted. 

Juliet cocked an eyebrow and turned around.  

"You must be responsible for the hanging munchkin," Shawn accused Lassiter below him, clinging to the tree trunk. "I'm on to you!" 

"What's the hanging munchkin?" Juliet asked despite herself. 

Shawn turned to her. "In _The_ _Wizard of Oz,_ when Dorothy, Scarecrow, and the Tin Man are singing 'We're off to See the Wizard' and skipping away, you can clearly see a dark shadow in the background, swinging from a tree. It's the size and shape of a munchkin, and it's hanging from a rope. The hanging munchkin!" 

"That's a myth," Lassiter retorted angrily. "I clearly remember there being a crane there, not a shadow." 

"That's the remastered version," Shawn argued. "You're just saying that because you killed a munchkin." 

"I didn't kill a munchkin!" 

"You drove it to suicide!" 

"I did not! I wasn't even alive when the movie was filmed!" 

Juliet rolled her eyes. "That's enough, both of you! Listen, I'm in a coma, and I'd really like to get to the Consultant so I can maybe get _out_ of this coma, all right?" 

Before either man could respond, there was a sound like cracking thunder and a huge plume of smoke. "Detective!" screeched an evil voice. "What are you doing?" 

"The Wicked Vick!" Shawn gasped in a terrible German accent. 

Lassiter rolled his eyes at the younger man, then turned to face the woman who was appearing out of the fading smoke. "Sorry, Chief. I was distracted by these _n_ _uisances_. I'm trying to get this idiot out of the tree." 

This time it was Chief Vick who rolled her eyes. "Detective Lassiter, we're running out of time. I specifically told you to follow up on that lead we received. If we don't find out who killed the muffin man soon, the case will go cold!" 

"I know," Lassiter said. "I'm sorry, Chief. It's just -" 

"No excuses, Detective," Vick said sternly, holding up a hand to silence him. "Stop neglecting your job, or I will have you fired." 

"Yes, Chief," Lassiter said. 

Juliet had had enough and stepped forward. "You can't do that!" she said.  

Vick turned a dangerous eye to her. "Excuse me?" 

"You can't fire him. He's helping someone," Juliet answered. "That's his job, isn't it? Why are you being so mean?" 

The Wicked Vick's mouth open and closed like a fish's for a moment. Her brow pinched in anger, but then it smoothed out once again and she sighed and looked tired. "I'm sorry, I don't mean it. It's just my infant daughter won't stop crying, and I'm running on coffee vapors, and I'm still a little upset about someone dropping a house on my sister Barbara, is all. And the mayor of Psychville is riding me about the muffin man murder." 

Juliet's lips pressed together in a sympathetic expression. "I'm sorry," she said. "I had no idea it was so hard for - Wait, no!" She shook her head. "This is just a dream! I'm in a coma, and I need to get to the Consultant, damn it! You people are distracting me!" 

She took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly.  

"I'm sorry," she said. "I need to find Lil' Boy Cat - again." 

"No need," said Vick. "I have a guide you can use. He's quite an expert in these parts, as well as in many other fields." 

"Great," Juliet sighed, half-shrugging. "Then let's call him, I guess." 

Vick nodded, then reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone. She pressed a button and put the phone to her ear. It was obvious that whomever she was calling she had on speed dial. "Mr. Guster? It's Chief Vick. We need you here now." 

Gus stepped halfway out from behind a tree, a worried expression on his cocoa-buttered face. "You're sure?" he said into the phone. " 'Cause there's a Harry Potter convention going on tonight, and I was really hoping -" 

Vick snapped the phone closed with a roll of her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure, Mr. Guster," she said. "Now come out. You need to escort Ms. O'Hara to the Consultant." 

Gus slowly lowered the phone, still not moving from his spot. If anything, he looked more upset than before. "You mean...I have to go there?" 

"Yes. Is that a problem, Mr. Guster?" 

He nodded a few times, but then whimpered, "No." 

"I'll leave you to it, then. Quickly now. We've all got to get back to our jobs." With that, the Wicked Vick disappeared into a thick puff of smoke. 

Shawn clambered down from the tree with no help from Lassiter, which seemed to make the detective all the more annoyed. Gus tentatively ventured out from behind his own tree, fidgeting nervously. 

"Gus!" Shawn cried ecstatically. 

"Shawn!" Gus replied in kind. 

They ran at each other and embraced tightly. Lassiter rolled his eyes and began to trudge back to his house.  

"Where are you going?" Juliet demanded, hands on her hips. 

Lassiter stopped and looked at her innocently. "I have a job to do." 

"Uh, after you help us get to the Consultant." 

He glared at her. 

"This is _my_ coma dream!" Juliet stamped her foot childishly. "And I say what goes! You, Carlton, are coming with us!" 

Shawn whistled, grinning cheekily at Lassiter's indignant and uncertain expression. 

"Now then," Juliet said. "Let's go, Gus. Lead the way." 

Gus scrambled to do as he was told, unwilling to receive the same brash treatment that Lassiter had. He licked his finger and held it up to judge the wind's direction, though there was no breeze, then pulled out a GPS watch from his pocket and fastened it around his wrist. He stared intently at it for several long minutes, then decided that the way to go was forward. 

"This way," he said.  

He started off, the other three at his heels. They nearly rammed into one another when Gus suddenly stopped, peering around a tree. His bald head swiveled in several directions, and he even went so far as to sniff the air several times. 

Then he continued forward, motioning for them to follow. 

Gus suddenly stopped again, and Shawn walked forcefully into Lassiter's broad back. The head detective turned to snarl at the psychic, while Juliet glared impatiently at Gus, who was repeated the same process from moments ago. 

"Gus!" Shawn complained. 

"Shh!" was the whisper-screamed reply. "I have to check for danger, Shawn." 

"Dude." 

" _Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."_  

Juliet rolled her eyes. "Fearless Guster!" she said, remembering something Shawn had told her about once. 

The men turned to look at her, mostly in surprise and confusion.  

"You can do it, Gus," Juliet said, acting enthusiastically. "I believe in you. Fearless Guster!" 

Shawn joined in, grinning, "Fearless Guster! It's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" 

Lassiter rolled his eyes. 

For another moment Gus looked indecisive, but his expression hardened into sheer determination. "You're right, Juliet," he said, nodding to her. "Thank you. You've given me all the confidence I need to complete this quest. Let's go." 

He squared his shoulders and spun on his heel, and suddenly he was wearing the black robes of a wizard, and held a wand in his hand. He raised the stick, pointed, and boldly said, " _Expecto patronum_!" 

A tiny silver wisp emanated from the tip of the wand before being sucked back in. Then the wand exploded, throwing Gus backwards to collide with Shawn, and they toppled into a tangled heap.  

Gus lay stunned while Shawn struggled to get up, then began to cry miserably, high-pitched whimpers echoing through the trees. "I'm not Harry Potter! I'm not Harry Potter!" 

"Fearless Guster, man! Fearless Guster!" 

"I'm not Harry Potter!" 

Juliet buried her face in her hands, groaning. Lassiter looked to be a cross between amused and annoyed. 

"What is wrong with me?" she lamented. "Why couldn't I have dreamed of something more like _The Mentalist?"_  

" _Cops_ is better," Lassiter responded. "You'd get more realistic action, and get to make an arrest or two." 

"Yeah," Juliet agreed sadly. 

At last, Shawn and Gus managed to disentangle themselves, and Gus practiced his lamaze breathing while Shawn brushed himself off.  

"Can we go now?" Juliet asked petulantly. 

"Of course," Gus said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Juliet. It's this way." 

They made quite a bit of progress once Gus was persuaded that not every tree hid danger. Soon enough, the end of the forest was reached, and they stood upon a small ridge that overlooked the land. Below them was a green field that swayed in the breeze, and in the distance the sparkling blue sea danced on the sand. Looming in the horizon was a castle with red roofing. It was built on a green expanse of lawn, and colorful flowers, even from their distance, were visibly blooming and climbing up the whitewashed walls. 

"That's the Consultant's place," Gus pointed. 

"Then what are we waiting for?" Juliet said. She looked down to pick her footing down the steep sides of the hill, arms held out for balance.  

Shawn whooped as he slid past her on his bottom, dust flying up in a trail behind him. "Last one down's a rotten egg!" 

Juliet considered following his example, but then decided against it. She definitely was not dressed for such an activity. Her legs would be torn to shreds by any loose stones or roots. Behind her, Gus cried out as he slipped. He went tumbling down head over heels, screaming the whole way. 

Shawn cheerfully greeted him at the bottom. 

Juliet and Lassiter were much more careful in their descent, and arrived several minutes later at the flat ground below. Gus and Shawn were still brushing sand and dust from their clothes and skin. Shawn shook his head violently, and a plume of it escaped from his artfully-arranged hair. 

"I think I can make it from here," Juliet said, starting forward.  

"Ooh, pineapples!" Shawn gasped. 

The field that they had seen was a pineapple orchard. Thousands of the yellow, pointy fruit were ripening. They stretched as far as the eye could see, and were bordered only by the sea and by the Consultant's castle.  

Shawn immediately stooped and plucked one from its plant. "I didn't know he was growing pineapples out here!" 

"Shawn, you can't eat that!" Gus said nervously. 

"You're right," Shawn said, shoulders slumping. "I don't have anything to cut it with!" 

"I can handle this one," Lassiter said, drawing his gun. "Stand back." 

Gus' eyes widened. "You can't just -" 

Lassiter fired off three rounds, effectively striking three different pineapples and sending splintered shell, flesh, and juice spraying in all directions. Gus screamed, and Juliet raised her hands protectively. Before she could admonish Lassiter for getting the stuff all over her and in her hair, she swooned. 

_Beepbeepbeepbeep_ _-_  

_"O'Ha...own, O'Hara...!"_  

_Something was holding her down but shaking her_ _, disambiguous noises surrounded her, screaming and tapping, and murmuring all mixed together_ _. She struggled to move away, to escape. Something choked her._  

_A strong hand grabbed hers._  

_"Calm down, O'Hara!" s_ _houted a familiar, gruff voice. "It's me - Carlton."_  

_Carlton?_  

_A pinch on her arm startled her, and she immediately forgot that she wasn't alone. She tried to escape, but suddenly she felt so, so tired..._  

_She felt herself jostled._  

"O'Hara, wake up!" 

With a gasp, Juliet startled awake, eyes blinking open and squinting against the brightness. For a  long moment she couldn't piece together where she was. Lassiter hovered over her, blue eyes watching her with obvious concern. A peculiar smell reached Juliet's nose. It took her a moment to recognize it as pineapple. 

Right, the pineapple field. 

"I told you, Shawn!" Gus berated in the background as Juliet slowly sat up with Lassiter's help. "I told you not to eat it!" 

"I didn't!" Shawn protested. "Lassie shot it! Probably like he shot the munchkin and hung it to cover up the murder!" 

Lassiter immediately launched himself into the bickering. "I didn't kill a munchkin, dammit!" 

"Pineapple betrayal," Shawn lamented sadly, ignoring the detective.  

"If we'd eaten it," Gus said, shaking his head, "we'd never have woken up! I tried to tell you, but nooo, you never listen!" 

"Enough!" Juliet broke in. "We're almost there! If we could just get to the castle, that would be great. Once I get back to Santa Barbara, you all can argue as much as you'd like." 

The boys shared a glance amongst themselves, then nodded agreeably.  

Juliet nodded curtly, then pushed past them, taking several deep breaths to calm herself. She wouldn't let her dream world get the better of her. She was in control of the coma, not the other way around. Or something. 

They waded through the thick field, avoiding contact with the fruits as much as was possible. Juliet certainly didn't want to fall asleep again, even in her dream. She just needed to wake up. The longer someone was in a coma, she knew, the more likely there was permanent damage.  

Since she thought about it, Juliet couldn't even think of why she was in a coma. Had she been in an accident? Shot? Who knew. 

Caught up in her thoughts, she almost didn't even realize that they had reached the edge of the pineapple field and set foot on freshly-mown grass. The smell immediately replaced the last, almost overpoweringly so. Shawn had a sneeze attack somewhere behind her, but she didn't pay mind to it. 

Rather, she only had eyes for the man sitting on the castle porch. Why the castle had a porch was beyond Juliet, but the point was the Consultant was there, sipping a beer and watching the sea.  

"Mr. Spencer?" 

He looked up. "Detective," he greeted, standing. "What can I do for you?" 

"Um, Lloyd said that you had his plane. I really need to get back to Santa Barbara," Juliet explained, somehow feeling like a small child under his gaze even in her own dream.  

Henry sighed. "All right, all right. Get in. Shawn, watch the barbecue!" 

"Aw, Dad!" 

"Shawn." 

"Fine, fine." 

Juliet allowed a smile as she followed Henry across the yard, presumably to wherever he was keeping the plane. Then she stopped. "Mr. Spencer?" 

"Yeah?" He turned around, raising an eyebrow. 

"Would it be possible for three more tiny favors?" 

He looked a bit exasperated at that, but faced her with his arms folded across his chest. "Depends on what they are." 

"Could you give Shawn some brains? And Carlton a heart? And Gus some courage?" Juliet rattled off quickly. 

Henry regarded for her a long moment. "Shawn's already got brains," he said derisively. "He just never uses them! And he never comes home for dinner." Shawn stuck his tongue out at his father, who shook his head. 

"Detective Lassiter already has a heart. He's stuck with you all the way here, hasn't he?" Lassiter scowled and turned away, keeping up his reputable appearance. 

"And Gus, well...There's nothing anyone can do for him. He's just a loser." Gus' face contorted as though he would cry, but nodded resignedly. 

"But you, Detective O'Hara," Henry said, shaking a finger at her and looking a bit softer. "You've got all that. That's what makes you so special. Now let's go. Everyone's waiting for you back home." 

Juliet nodded, accepting the praise even though it technically came from herself. 

She left her three friends behind and followed Henry. They rounded the corner, and Juliet saw the small plane at the end of a dirt runway. It somehow didn't surprise her that Henry's castle had its own runway. 

She and Henry climbed in, and Juliet fastened her seatbelt across her waist. Henry turned the key in the ignition. Rather than the roar of the engine and the whirring of the turbines starting up, the plane emitted a steady beeping sound. 

Juliet looked at Henry, who sat back and interlaced his fingers behind his balding head. 

"Why's it making that sound?" 

"You're waking up, Detective." 

She gave him a dubious look, but sure enough after a moment felt a slight aching sensation behind her forehead and beneath her eyes.  

Juliet's eyes fluttered open, and the first sight she registered was a plain white ceiling. The glare almost forced her to shut them again, but she persevered. Her blue eyes wandered across the room, taking in the window at the far wall, the heart monitor and IV drip at her bedside, and the bathroom door standing ajar. She turned her head to the other side and saw her partner's tall form hunched uncomfortably in a plastic chair.  

Then she noticed that though he was dozing, his hand was still holding hers. She smiled wanly and looked up at the door. Just outside she could see Chief Vick speaking with a disheveled-looking Shawn and Gus. 

_S_ he squeezed an exhausted Lassiter's hand to inform him that she was awake. 

He startled, wincing at the crick in several places as he sat up. But all traces of discomfort disappeared when he met Juliet's eyes. He broke into a grin, and her own smile widened. 

"Welcome back, O'Hara," he whispered. 

_There's no place like home,_ she thought. 

END. 


End file.
